Because of the Rain!

Dearest Rain,

with your first sprinkles comes eternal joy,

Flowers, trees, deserts, everything around blooms…

and so my sadness does thy rain

it blooms with joy 

rejuvenating unfilled souls,

thy love with the arms open

the earth welcomes welcomes you.

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The Diary of a Young Girl !!

From the epitome of love to the eternal silence, she knew her destiny. Being a women in today’s world isn’t easy;  from the family keeper to adjoining the broken parts of her heart and soul, she grew up ! What kept her going ? The hope of a world which was beyond her reach. The blithe disappeared into woods and she disappeared into sorrow. This is her story, and the story of the enchanted woods that have been waiting for her to break a set of terrible spells.  She created a world  that sits on the borders of  humanity, love and enchantment; a world full of sprinting tress, a world which glows with the glow of moon; a world which remarked the journey of a women: from a daughter to a wife to a woman !!  That day the world cried , the woods enchanted for her, morning gave way to night, but she waved herself to her origin….

An Illusion!!

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Life is nothing but an illusion….. You all will be wondering why i said this! Have you heard about that episode where a bunch of people went to a forest and said unpleasant words to trees, and with time passes by trees began to fall and the land became barren. Something like this is exactly happening to some of us. And so you began to fall apart. I’m neither a philosopher nor a poet. I’m a person who finds difficulty in handling day-to-day problems and also tired of fighting battles with my own self. My content is not as good as other’s but then it’s ok because I feel difficult to put my feelings, aggression, frustration into words. I never spoke about my problems to anyone; and everyone thought I live a very peaceful life. 

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It is was 2nd of college and exams were scheduled. A night before my exam I had a argument with one of my family member and it was just once but has happened countless times; and every time I faced this I felt alone. And all I could remember was my mom. I have always craved for her and her love. Post her death to till date I have been the tree who slowly dies at the hands of other people. I couldn’t speak what I went through and I’m still not. There is a lot more to say but I ran out of words. My emotions are more powerful than my words. They become stubborn when I try to put them in words. I don’t know why am I penning down but i won’t to cry out loud….

“Anybody who’s ever gone through a hard time – any outsider’s perception, no matter how much information they’re given, they have no idea what the person’s life is like.”

              Life is nothing but an illusion,

               There is smog and not rainbows;

                  a glimpse of star in the night 

                is a gift to those saddened eyes.

              It is not fairytale but a reality;

                       an illusion of beauty,             

              Laying its hand over the humans…

                                                                                                                   ~Himanshi Kothari

The Dolorous Heart….

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She sat like patience on a monument, smiling at grief!   

Universe played  its conspiracy. Love happened to her but she couldn’t enjoy it. The tragedy was she knew how to love, she knew when to leave; but she didn’t knew how to leave. She became philophobic .  The sweetness of love was matched by the bitter aftertaste left by a hreatbreak. Rain today and rain in the self. She was down in the mouth. She didn’t knew how to giveaway. AND, thus she locked herself in darkness of shallow nights and returned  to the imprisonment.

WORTHY OF YOU !!

I ‘m in love ‘th  him,

‘th all my breath and strength

I surrendered my heart to him

And in a myth;

I called him mine,

but reality bites

as it came to my senses, 

I don’t belong to you

and I’m left alone with all this heartaches

I’m wretched,

Whatever the reason for me to feel this way

one thing i know, this strange feeling grows stronger everyday

All this time i have been praying

for you to see and  look at me as a lady

a few might have a clue

But they can’t guess the sleepless nights

nor count the tears i have cried.

and for once let me say this, 

i love you…..

The ultimate checklist for a happy mind!!

Very few things in life are sustained. Pretty much everything both inside and outside of ourselves, goes through periods of high stress and activity and moments of calm. 

Life is unpredictable. Life does not work according to you. There are certain moments in life that makes you shiver when it hits your mind….. now the question is how to face them? I have certain things which helped me ….. 

  1. Learn to differentiate between past, present and future. The practice of paying more attention to the present moment is called being mindful.
  2. Divert your mind to the things which gives you joy, peace and relaxation. Such things tend to release hormones which makes you feel better.
  3. Try to remember happy moments which gives you joy, it ultimately helps you forget the bad dreams.
  4. Speak to people, make new friends, read books, they‘ll help you in dealing with such omens.
  5. Talk to yourself. I know it sounds funny but it helps you realise positive hormones which gives you inner peace. Talking to yourself  makes you less frustrated and gives a new hope, positivity and determination to fight back.
  6. Consider what you have learnt from the event. Yes its true!!  Every bad event teaches you something. It might take long time to realise this if its fresh, but when you look back, you have gained some worth life living lessons.
  7. Keep yourself busy. Organise yourself. Engage yourself into some works it keeps your mind busy and there are less chances of colliding with bad memories.
  8. Avoid alcohol or drugs. Using mind-altering substances can make things worse, especially if the bad memory has left you felling depressed or anxious. Alcohol can increase depression, irritability, and anxiety, in people who have already been experiencing these symptoms.
  9. Talk to somebody about it. Speak to a friend or a family person who is not related to that incident, it will give you fresh perspective  that you need. If you are not comfortable sharing with anybody else, then pin it down in a personal journal and keep that in a safe place.
  10. Opt for meditation. Meditation gives you deep rest. It helps us meet life’s ups and downs with confidence and resourcefulness. Importantly it gives you resilience so that we can not only  remain unshaken by storms of emotions that come in everyone’s lives, but also get back on track sooner. Meditation is the biggest grief-counsellor. Ever.

Every Single Minute!!

What if you are happy and suddenly something worse happens and you feel like dying? The feeling is inexorable. I have always thought of myself as a strong, independent women; but when I suffer from such fates I realise I’m broken. I need a person who could lend a hand of help, whom i can depend on. Sometimes being weak is not bad, and it is not in your hand; we are besieged by the destiny. Today  sitting in the corner of my room, I again met with my fate, i.e., suicide. I don’t know how to get rid of such thoughts. Writing is what I have learnt till now. I feel that sometimes humans proof better friends than books as books can’t share anything though they never demand and expect. I have always been in a dilemma whether trust people or not. But we humans need humans to share. Today when I thought of ending my life, I realised it’s not my end yet and I was scrounging for the one who I love though he is not aware of it. I  feel depressed and I’m unable to put it in words how vulnerable I’m feeling. I wish that person could somehow get my message and he puts his hand on my hand……